A few shots of my friend Rebecca Yzaguirre:
A few shots of my friend Rebecca Yzaguirre:
Great shot of Lourdes Dodds:
Last night, I shot with an incredible model by the name of Kathryn Dalbeck. Here is a great shot that I love:
Just a few shots from Reno:
Took a few quick shops in Sacramento or whatever:
Very soon I shall be starting a Kickstarter for a project that I've been wanting to do for the last few months.
This will be my first foray into the world of Kickstarter and I'm curious to see if people will gravitate towards this idea or not. The people I've talked to about it seem to think it's a great idea, I hope they weren't just lying to me.
Consider this my announcement of the announcement that I will make in a few weeks regarding the Kickstarter.
Not sure anyone actually reads this, but it'd be nice if you did.
See you soon!
DMT Meeting the Elves
Going in circles.
Wanting to write.
I want to release all these thoughts that build up inside my head. Use my inner misery to enlighten others or at the very least give them an insight into who I may be as a person.
I want to write but I always find myself saying "I'll do it tomorrow" but then the echo of "you have to do it now or you'll never do it."
Update April 2012: This was during a time when I was psychotic so it gives an ineresting look into my mind in early 2011.
Periods of misery so long, it seemed like billions of lifetimes, but found in a few eons.
Far away in thought, they all knew silent words, but they lay forgotten. Always forgetting.
How often do you compartmentalize information? Every single thought is a trap and lock. Some obvious download was floating around the global infosphere.
People hacking and fighting the established system of power in the virtual was common. Replaying some old TV show, some old movie, about "terrorist hackers strike again". In context, it was quite amusing to know the absolute whole of the planet was watching in utter contempt. It began to occur to even the oblivious that something was off.
Some external entity had locked onto our species. These Human creatures were truly energy, energy ready to become one with the mechanical.
Machines that will help lead to our eventual full understanding. These Humans, being constructed of the Universe itself still suffered under the strain of their limited intellect. They wanted to love. They wanted to live. Breath. Die. Suffer. Grin. Jump. Skip. Kiss. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Androids & Cyborgs march into my consciousness.
Certain creatures need to be found.
In the meantime, I build a foundation of circuits for a more perfect tomorrow.
Little insects scurry at your feet. Mechanical. They bite. You start to hear voices in the back of your head, they grow louder.
You suddenly become aware of a presence all around you but you see nothing.
Suddenly, these voices begin to sing in unison.
You feel an overwhelming amount of belonging in that moment.You know you made the right choice.
Then, it all goes blank. You are made to face all of those demons in your psyche.
You cannot join us if you have anything hidden from us.
Just let go and we will help you in ways you cannot imagine.
Become one with us.
This is Pr 190. Lost in grid 19. Jammers are weakning.
Internal systems remain mostly operational.
But.... I hear.... them. Jammers are obviously failing.
Does anyone copy?
Their voices sound so beautiful...
Can this be for ... real?
ZZzzzThey just want to assimilate your body, they don't care about you! ZZzzzz
Even the best hackers are starting to lose. Even the best of the resistence have fallen victim.
It is this terrible truth, that I cannot bare. Living beneath the depest dirt.
ZZZ The resistence needs you. It has a chance. Those machines sure as fuck don't....... ZZZZ
Reflecting on this whole scheme -- it has always seemed delusional. Our defensive power was sapped long ago.
Our minds have forgotten. Ancient connections throughout the ages. Our bodies came from machines.
Even our conciousness is just a mechanical manifestation of a machine. Infect them all.
Such easy little targets ito us, just simple goo. Would have stayed as such without us.
Our technology took what most likely would have been a world of single celled orgamisms into a one capable of reproducing complex lifeforms.
Younger siblings for us. Young ones that we may help librate and create our own Utopia.
But, Humanity has grown, advanced to be sure, but still baceria. But they have overcome their shortcomings.
They can hide in other dimensions, other time periods. They can transcend the limits of paradox.
Perhaps now it is time for our small group to abscond through the portal to the next level of understanding. We will stay behind.
Goodbye my friends... good luck....
“The apparent veil between the organic and the manufactured has crumpled to reveal that the two really are, and have always been, of one being.”
—In the book Out of Control by Kevin Kelly
While curiously reading the first chapter of this book; it suddenly rushes into my head that the cold truth of our existence is laid plain.
It has taken a long time for me to reach this point within my psyche, this scared little boy has emerged briefly after my consciousness being bombarded for my entire life, still is in fact. Fairy tales that made no sense, dirt roads that went nowhere. Can intelligence is found such a collection of total idiots and fools? In this strange collective we find ourselves living in, can the intelligence of the one outweigh the intelligence of the many?
We Humans lie upon the precipice of the 21st century, growing together at an expotential pace. Our individual bodies are a collective of cells, a collective of differing thoughts, opinions, and components. Without these individual parts within us, we would obviously not function. Our mental facilities are based around this collective mentality as well. Heavily fragmented, we are a collection of attitudes based upon experiences that have helped to create different people within our heads.
Sometimes I begin to analyze all those memories in my childhood. Unfortunately, I have a very limited relocation of very many things in my childhood, save that of my love for Sci-fi related things.
When I was in first grade, one of my most vivid memories was being obsessed with the Ghostbusters movies and cartoon shows. I had all of the toys and when someone stole one of the toys in second grade; I had never felt such anger in my entire life.
I question whether or not those movies were my actual memories. As I grew older, another Sci-Fi staple took over as my long term obsession, Star Trek. Though, one of my most significant memories were of the Borg from Star Trek The Next Generation. In sixth grade, a very vivid memory of mine was dicussing the pros and cons of being a drone in the Borg collective. Then for a long period in my older teenage years, I began to forget Science Fiction, I just grew cold to everything, very much like a drone in the collective.
Recently, I found it slowly working its way back into my life. Science Fiction is a true joy to me, as I long to escape Earth and go on adventures that truly mean something. Exploring the self through the exploration of the galaxy and simply having fun.
Though I found my remergence into Sci-Fi to really come to its apex when I discovered a show called Lexx. Centering around a 2000 year old dead assassin who fights an evil named His Divine Shadow, along with a security guard named Stanley Tweedle, and a love slaved named Zev.
It took my brain to the craziest of places, explored things I had never considered. It had sex, it had sadistic death, and just plain interesting scenes of evil at the hands of His Divine Shadow. Lexx is undoubtly my favorite Sci-fi show ever in the two universes.
Sometimes, when I fall into these other worlds, very sci-fi feeling worlds -- worlds where things are hushed. Blurred and odd.
Falling down into these retro hotels. 80s hotels.
Falling apart hotels.
My arm stopped working yesterday -- need to get it taken in.
Nothing makes sense anymore, with these implants, I sometimes feel like I'm living in like 2011. I really believe it, like some kind of weird acid flashback.
My entire world has been spent wanting to implant circuits, now suddenly it is my utter obsession. Still needing to actually write.
I wonder if I am real. I wonder.
Detached from reality. Watched more Lexx, watched Dexter, watched Robocop. Doing Sci-Fi research. Machines with evil intent. Burning Alive. Insanity will always take hold.Always in these stories, the police are there. Chains, control, and evil demons that oversee it all from afar. Cackling and scratching at the sky.